Subconscious

This morning.......

wake up very late.......

very very late as in 11.52 am........

Because today I decided to have my one day holiday.

No assignment, No anything related to the books.

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Laying on the bed,

mind gone wild.

Think a lot.

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Now...

Not more than 8 months..

I will say bye bye to the uni.

After that,

Everything will change.


The aim of life will no more be strive for dean list.

Its impossible to get dean list in my subject and I know it.

Rewind back to 3 years ago when I am in dilemma when choosing course in Uni.

If my aim is just to get a roll of certificate with colorful flying color,

I could have simply choose some easy course in Uni.

Perhaps those...math economy something not engineering stuff.

However, that time I just want aim for the best.

The best as in challenging and not easily to achieved. (* now i realised....I am so childish that time)

This is also similar to the thought: There are no fairy tales in this world.

WAKE UP!

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Now...

What is the purpose I am blogging all of these?

It is because I just realized and regret.

It is the final year.

And I just could not reach my aim which is to get into dean list.

It seems so easy to other people, yet for me it is like trying to reach the moon.

No one to blame. Just maybe I am not trying my very best.

Always in Honey Moon and Last Minutes Study during the exam.

Now...

It get even stress for the Final Year Project.

I get a good lecturer.

But...

I get an even GOOD lecturer after this.

There are some rumors happens regarding this lecturer and his student.

I do not want that happen to me.

I just do not want.

What is that mean?

Haha...... Nevermind.

Let's put a Full Stop there.

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There is no turning back.

I have to live the engineering student life.

Be tough.

Must do my very best in this 8 months.

No regret No cry after the 8 months.


After 8 months,

I just will think my path.

It is a cross road.

It is good as there will be many choices.

Many choices that you can try one by one.

After try this, not suit you.

Change it to another choice.

Yes.

That's it.

Because you have a degree cert as a passport.

You can certainly make good use of it and try out all of the alternatives you have.

It is a wide world than we might ever expect.

Trying out all.........

gain experiences......

Even you fall down in the middle way and stand up yourself.

I think there is no harm because it will make you even stronger.

:D

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Many of my same aged cousin had been married. (* maternal side)

My cousin Lia's just deliver a baby boy last week.

She married a Chinese and they just recently bought a house.

Happy for her new life.

My another cousin Nancy get a baby girl last year.

Also bought a new house already and moved to Penampang.

Now.....

In the maternal side,

1980s baby all married....

except me......

Now the 1990s baby turn to get marry...


Do I get jealous over them?

Its a lie if I said no.

Normally people will just jealous of a life like this.

But then I remember one thing I said to myself.

I want to have a Degree Certificate. A great JOB.

and also the Matric's big boss words.

" Congratulation, you all in this hall are the one that breaks the traditional rules."

" I know some of you come from far away kampong, just to come here to study."

" Some other choose to working and marry but you choose to come here....."

"You all the luckiest one, so make use of that opportunity to reach a higher stage."

Some sort like that speech.

Yeah.......I keep nodded in my heart that time.

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What matter is the time difference.

It is just an early marriage and late marriage.

Other than that is not in a problem.

I just choose for a better life *perhaps by pursuing a higher education.

Yes!

What different is.......

I own a Degree cert. * fingercross

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Human Nature.

They tend to influenced by many factors in their surrounding.

That is what my thought tell me.

When I see wedding is trending, I also want.

However, my conscious tell me.

For now.....

No......

I should really live my own life........

for few more years.....

Before I started  to consider.....

many more new characters in my life.

Perhaps.....

We don't know.

Future.

Might change.

So do thoughts..

Might change...

Who know....

2012 world end really coming...

Haha......

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A longer post.

Will anyone read it.....?

I know...at least there is this one person will read it.

Haha......

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Just some thoughts turned into words.

GOOD MORNING!!!!!!!