Gmat

Wanted to write up something here...

Randy is back from his offshore work which means I am not alone now. hehe
but then i keep told myself, "hey nicolee! don't too comfort with this. This is just temporary..
he will leave soon."
yes, i know.
keep on reminding myself, dont depend on anyone or else you will suffer soon.

to my readers,
everything is fine here.
work is fine.
just that i use money like....ehem....
i will start to jimat jimat soon...

....and i just bought a new shoes yesterday...yeeehaaaaaaa

whats next coming up with my life?

june..... i am going to learn hard and work hard...and.....save hard. :P

He

26 May 2013

A quick update.

Randy is back!!!

:D

Back Again

Well hello readers...

Its 11th May 2013 saturday and here i am again at my home sweet home.
You must be wondering why i am here again.
I bought this ticket first and then before GE13, I had last minute decided to go home.
So i am at home for 2 consecutive weekends.

Traveling expenses of course is higher but dont worry i will try to cover it up soon.
*I PROMISEEEEE MOM!
haha..
So no more buying shoes after this...
Shoes obsession is really posses me.. :p
Today i just bought one sandal and one working shoes.
Actually i am really concern about it as i walk a lot at there.
Once a shoes is "not new", i will have this feeling of it may broken anytime.
So I will always "update" my shoes.
Some more its cheaper.
I found out shoes nowadays is really cheap.
...and with lots of variety too.
:-]

Okay these two times home, did not meet up any friends.
...except ky..!! haha....
Reason is I am very tired....I dont know. I back home. I am tired.
Its not that i do many heavy work, its just psychologically literally tired.
I just feels like i want to stay at home.
Avoid the sun.
Avoid people.
Just home and I.
Just cat and I.
Just dog and I.
I should not have did it.
But I dont know.

Now while writing this...
I am in my small yet comfortable living room.
with both of my parents..
and they are watching the documentary Bones of Buddha.
Wesak day is coming in next two weeks.
I am sad I wont be able to come home and celebrate with my dad.
But as my aunt told me, every temple is the same.
so she hope i can just go visit any temple there and bath our little Siddhartha prince during his big day.
:)

Randy will be back from offshore in two weeks time.
He had been there for a month and half.
And I actually could not believe I am alone all this time.
but of course thanks to michie's and ally's companion....and roanne yap too.
without you all I 'll die due to loneliness haha JK!
but may be it will develop my mental illness due to loneliness and only get connected to people through phone and internet.
Life is ain't that easy.
Without friends around...I mean like literally you are alone...
go work alone...
back room also alone...
and yes...in few months time you can go crazy...
...it....applies to me I assume. haha
and again. Thanks all for concerning me.
I am having my bad days there but....
this is what i ask for. * ya sounds lunatic
Life goes on.

24 years old.
24
24
24
24
24

6 more years and i am 30.

ok stop now.

That stupid condo that i am staying now will only set up the fiber optic on early June.
so.....damn condo.
will update again soon.
Till then.
Have a good May everyone.

Just me and myself

Its the general election 13 and I am coming home to fulfill my task.

3 days 2 nights is enough?

Not enough! but if i am given more time i scare i will become lazy.

7 more hours i will be at the airport waving goodbye to this homeland of mine.

14 hours ago, 

I was laying on the sofa all by myself at home.

It was suppose to be a mom and daughter day but my mom ffked me.

She want go back kampung to meet all her old friends at the polling centre.

My dad went back to vote at B'wan and direct back B'kau and overnight there.

My bro got his own agenda.

So being lazy and emo i just choose to lay while waiting tick tock tick tock for the time to pass.

....until my stomach growling.

I decided to go lone ranger hunting for food at the kk city.

Driving alone....

Listening to that unknown title song from bro's pendrive.

Soothing...

...but then tears fall down because i cant believe i am at here.

here all alone...

so much thing cross over my brain but i have to stay focus on driving 

so i stop thinking and drive.

Came to suria and find parking around tonghing.

all parking occupied.

three rounds.

I decide to go Upperstar segama instead.

The plan is only to fill in the stomach.

To friends at kk, sorry its not i dont want spend time with you all.

I just so mentally unstable...

and i know emo is not a good reason to give but that is the real reason of me..

ever since i leave home, i have to do my own decision.

sometimes i feel im brainless due to some stupidity action.

eg.

I bought last minute tickets.

I shopped nonsense stuffs.

Its just wordless.

I have everything here.

But out of comfort zone is what i seek for.

Am i stupid?

Am i really that stupid?

seek knowledge..gain experience...

yes i did.

but i started to lose my direction.

If i stay here, i forever depend on everything given to me here.

I will be the laid back me.

If i go there, i cannot stop but have to push myself to move forward.
sometimes when i push myself too hard,
i really cant handle myself.
sometimes i even feels want to give up.

Think again....this is what i seek for.

I have to sleep now.

Nite black black world.